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Wednesday, July 12, 2006


passions and pretty things in life

I was admiring the moon for the past few nights, and it's the prettiest tonight. They looked bright, sparkling bright, to the extent where I had to close my eyelids slightly when looking at it directly on previous days. The moon today is totally different. It exuded a subtle glow, one that is mysteriously attractive, one that is breathtakingly captivating. A whirlwind of emotions erupted in me, as I fondly recall bits and pieces of blurred but happy feelings, I emphasise on the word "feelings", as I didn't know exactly which part of my life I recalled, it was merely the nostalgic emotions that was induced.

Listening to beautiful music is also an extremely enjoyable thing to do. Having returned from my moon-watching session, I sat at my desk, enjoying Jones Shi's 黑夜过后. Unknowingly, I began feeling extremely fortunate, being able to enjoy nature's wonderful art while grooving to the melodious tunes of human creation. When I finally awoke from my daze, the tunes of the music player was different, so were my emotions. I could hardly feel any contentment; muted numbness were the only remains.

That's how quickly my emotions change, that's how forgetful I am with feelings. Forgetting that I was mad/happy/disappointed just a moment earlier is my forte. And this is the reason why I've decided to spend a little more time on poetry now. Whenever you've been blessed with an emotion, thought or idea that inspires you to record it down in any artistic form, always do so, because this opportunity does't come very often, and with repeated regections the chances of being blessed with another inspiration is greatly reduced, to the point where you can't feel anything for whatever artistic form that used to be your passion.

I'm speaking from my heart right now as I used to be totally passionate about visual arts. I could do everything and anything to squeeze whatever time I had to do a little piece of work, or just to practice my skills. There used to be an overload of CAs and miniature tests but I hardly studied for them just to do my craft. Getting a B, to me then, was out of the question(yeah, that was how much a perfectionist I was). But I didn't mind failing a CA or two just to do my craft. Until I lost touch with art after secondary 2 or 3. A person without passion is like a body without soul. Life was hell then. There's no escape for any pent-up emotions, no relive from unhappiness, nothing. All that was left was an empty shell.

Thank goodness I'm blessed with yet another passion. (Omg at this point in time I realised I kept repeating the same few words like "I", "passion" and so on. eeeew. Let me change this bad habit.) Literature came to my rescue, and hohoho, I became a happier person. If you ask who is my crush at the moment, I would say it's literature! What a hot guy.

By now you've probably realised from my trend of thoughts that I can jump to totally irrelevant topics very quickly. Yepp that's part of Jasmine--one that changes pretty quickly and can't follow a rigid system. lol. That was kind of unrelated too.

Back to topic. By the time I tried, once again, spending more time with art, I found out that I didn't have the feelings that I used to have towards it. I wonder if people are able to rekindle passions after losing them. It is of utmost unfortune that one loses one's passion, a gift bestowed to us from heaven. I will do my best to treasure my current passion, and let it be my best friend who goes through thick and thin with me for as long as I can.

One more point to elaborate. In relation to what I've said earlier, I will do my best to take every opportunity to translate emotions into words, not just any emotions, but those that are "literary" enough. Er, it's hard to explain, but people who share my passion for lit should understand what I am talking about. You'll know that it's the one when it comes to you. That's all I can say.

I can't remember what I decided on writing earlier. Nvm. btw, I have increased the font size from this entry onwards so that it's more visible. Ooooh I love this font size. Neither too big nor too small. Sometimes I marvel at my ability to marvel at the little, even trivial things in life. Which are all so pretty awaiting our appreciaton. :)

boo!
9:12 PM